What do we want really?

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This isn’t the first time I am asking myself this question, and certainly not the last. When I was a kid, I thought I wanted to grow up and I did but it wasn’t something I was living for. Next I wanted to study computers, I did that too but it was not like what I had expected and certainly not what I wanted in life. After my studies, I wanted a job and I got one, it is cool and fun, I get to explore new things, take new challenges but still I feel something is missing. There is something else I want to do and I still cannot figure that out….

I have always been a crazy person, doing silly things, irritating people. Sometimes I feel I need to change that, get more serious and think about life and what I want to do with it. I have tried to live life normally, enjoying what I have.. but it certainly isn’t me, the black thoughts come to me when am not working. I can’t figure out why is everything so hard for me, I guess most still don’t know what they really want in life and I always think how they live with it. Maybe I think too much, but when I think of where my life is heading, I never get the answer and it worries me. I have tried doing lots of things, got success in some, failed in some but I still can’t find a perfect path for me. I sometimes feel I am just going round and round on the same place.

So, do we ever figure out what we want to do in life? or are we just doing things cause they are to be done? Am I being to complicated, or am I just being normal? All I can think of is taking a break from everything, go out in peace and just find out what my inner beast really wants to do, then maybe I can get myself to stop thinking about where my life is headed, well atleast for a while. After all when you get stuck in life, you need to hack it to find your way out.

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