In life happiness is seldom found… The memories, pressure it burns the mind and soul. Hate is all around, if you see what I see. All I can remember is the lying, the cheating and the hellish nights alone… I was patient, I tried to be good but the world keeps pusing me away. I remember all the waiting, betraying. I just think if I Let go And I will truly be free.
Easily said than done, the one thing I hold sacred in my life is Left hanging. I try music to relax my mind, all the songs of anger, rage, violance makes me come alive, but its a temporary solution for me. People say what you listen draws your attitude. I don’t know, but all the other songs just sounds nonsense to me. I enjoy listening to some but mostly, am like hmm nice song, but I can’t feel anything.
I truely want to be free, freshen up my mind and start working, doing my activities.. but a part of my brain is always stuck in the motion of life and these activities. I loose my mood to do what I love… that rarely happens, but the feeling of lonliness and being useless keeps hunting oneself. I always wanted to be the best in the things I love, but even I don’t feel proud of my works. I look at them and say, is this all? This sucks….
I want to be one of the best, but this attitude and feeling of me kills my desire. The mood is fully bored and dull. I spend my time on these useless activities rather than doing what I love. I can only work under music loud and heavy. Something that burns my anger and brings out my desire, but I keep on getting interuupted by my mind that looks up me from top to bottom.. All am saying to myself is “Let it be bhai Let it be, gravity will pull you but just Let go and I will truely be free”